Already got asked if we're dating
I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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