Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
