Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
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she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
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It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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