I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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