you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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