I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
