Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Please don't give away my fajitas
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