I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
