Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
