i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Randomize