There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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