You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
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Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
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Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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