Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
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i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
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FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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