have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
