I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize