She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
