I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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