you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
