Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
