why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
