what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
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