I love black thongs
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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