Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
