people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
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