When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
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either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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