He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
