is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Randomize
