I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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