i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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