You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
