i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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