Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I'm passing your future prison.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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