i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
