He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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