Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
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