Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
