"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Randomize