Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
