you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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