Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
