small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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