:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
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for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
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THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
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