Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
So apparently I’m into choking now
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
