You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
