There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
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