I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
