no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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