Will you blow on my dice?
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize