You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
