I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
