good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize