She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
This is the high leading the old right now
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
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