Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
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