I will die if light touches me.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
