a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.