THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .