dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I think a kid would responsible me up
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
