I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
