If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Randomize
