Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
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at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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